What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Therapist

The Question We All Get Asked: Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?

Did you always know what you wanted to be when you grew up? Do you remember what you said when someone first asked you that question?

I certainly didn’t.

If you had asked me when I was six years old, I might have said a teacher, nurse, or even a firefighter. But a therapist? I didn’t even know what that was!

High School and Big Emotions

Fast forward to high school—ugh, what a time!

I remember feeling big emotions, sometimes so overwhelming they felt out of control. Take my first heartbreak in 9th grade, for example. I cried for seven days straight, and my parents were genuinely worried. Looking back now, I laugh—because he didn’t even know he was my boyfriend. But when he started dating someone else in our class, I was devastated!

Silly? Maybe. But those feelings were real. I had all these emotions and nowhere to put them. No one to talk to. All I knew was that I never wanted to feel that powerless again. And I didn’t want others to feel that way either.

The Path to Becoming a Therapist

So, I did what made sense—I studied psychology. I wanted to understand human behaviour, how our minds work, and why we feel the way we do. I believed that if I could figure it out, I’d have more control over my emotions—and maybe I could help others feel more in control, too.

When I finally became a therapist, I thought I had it all figured out. I mean, I studied for six years, had a flashy title, learned countless theories and experiments, and had thousands of dollars in student loan debt to back it all up.

I believed my job was to listen to people’s pain and, like some wisdom-dispensing machine, hand them the perfect solutions. After all, wasn’t that what I had wanted when I was younger? Someone to give me all the answers?

My First Job and Reality Check

Then came my first job. I worked at a centre for women who had experienced childhood trauma. My role? To gather their psychosocial histories and enroll them in programs like anger management, trauma recovery, and my personal favourite—self-care.

After a week of training, my calendar was full. I was ready.

Or so I thought.

On my first day, I had five appointments scheduled, but only three people showed up. And those who did? They looked at me—this baby-faced, soft-spoken therapist—with complete skepticism.

I sat there, feeling like a fraud.

I wanted to cry.

Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this. How could I help these women when I wasn’t even sure I could help myself?

But then, I did what I was trained to do.

I asked them to tell me about their lives.

Slowly, the skepticism faded. They opened up, sharing their pain, fears, hopes, and dreams. At that moment, it felt like we were the only people in the world. Time stood still.

The Biggest Lesson I Learned

That moment—over nine years ago—still resonates with me today. And what I wish I had known before becoming a therapist is this:

• You don’t need to have all the answers—or any answers, for that matter.

• People aren’t looking for experts. They’re looking for connection.

• We live in a disconnected world, pulled in different directions by responsibilities, expectations, and distractions. But people crave human connection more than anything. And when humans truly connect, magic happens.

What Matters Most

And the most important thing I wish I had known before becoming a therapist?

• It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what you want to be.

• What matters is who you want to be.

Because life isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about being open to where the journey takes you. And trust me, that’s the greatest adventure of all.

Written by Amina Jama